You smell like a Billy Joel song
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
