hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
It's blow job season.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
