Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Everyone says I win the strip club
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
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