PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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