The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
