ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
