At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
pop tarts are not kleenex
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
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