you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
