Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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