question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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