so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
