if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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