woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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