last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
