Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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