i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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