I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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