You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
