Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
