So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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