I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize