Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
