The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
