there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
