girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
