As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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