I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize