i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
