You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Dick very happy bro
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
