if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
