You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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