Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
