Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
