Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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