It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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