I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
