Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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