Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
