Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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