spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
