Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
