I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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