After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
