onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
