It's Friday. Sex?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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