Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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