I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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