There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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