Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize