I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
