Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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