Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
