So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize