kristin has been a bad kristin
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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