i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
