I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I party with great urgency now.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
