just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
