I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
