i don't plan on having that self control this summer
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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