We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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