is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
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