I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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