As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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