my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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