i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
