Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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