worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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